So what is the word to describe me right now? I’m just at
the part where Elizabeth Gilbert wonders about this in ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. A
word that encapsulates YOU at this point in time; something that holds true of
your Self right now. The only thing that comes to mind at this immediate moment
is relieved. Why? Well, it seems that
after an eternity wondering whether or not I would have a job to go to for the
next twelve months or so, I’m pleased to say that my tenure as an employee has
been confirmed and extended. This has been the most prolonged dilly-dallying I
have ever known in the world of cut backs and restructures. Then again, I
should not be surprised that local government has seen fit to keep us all on
tender hooks. The powers that be have had to negotiate a new world order as
fits with central government and its constant threat of budget cuts and
closures. We, the human factor are mostly irrelevant now and carted out to
perform our monkey tricks at half capacity only as far as the public demand it.
Except now they have to make do with fewer organic beings and more automated,
circuited, self-service machines. Such is life! No point in arguing with
inevitability. Let me not be ungrateful for my reprieve and the sheer luck of
still being employed. Alleluia!
So I watch foxy out in the garden sprawled out in the sun and
rejoice at this beautiful creatures care free sleep. A lot of people dislike
foxes and consider them ‘vermin’ (there are humans who also fit into this
category but I’m not going to argue with semantics). I find foxes live up to
their reputation: resourceful, cunning, clever, vocal and opportunistic. She
lies there and just sleeps with her ears (always) alert, as though telling me
to accept calm and peace but always to keep watch for changes and the
occasional turbulence. Be prepared to bolt or change direction when the path
diverges should the need arise. No need to accept the turbulence if there is a
choice before you.
Take a page out of nature’s book and accept life presently on
a daily basis. So much time is wasted worrying and procrastinating when what we
should be doing is getting out there and living with quality and love in our lives.
I can say this now as I breathe out what feels like months of pent up
frustration and irritation. I often fail to appreciate my blessings and instead
lament my short-comings and the path I have chosen to follow, thinking I have
failed miserably at this thing called life. It’s something I’m sure we all
experience at some point in our lives when we are faced with the difficult stuff,
the tedium and the impasse; uncertainty - the wall that would take herculean effort to batter
down and overcome when we forget that there is more to life. We fail to see beyond our microcosmic world. The inabilty to see outside the glass jar. I'm guilty of this as much as the next person. As much as you try, the routine just wears you down sometimes. The challenges seem overwhelming and so soul numbing that you become apathetic. You live a life that is empty and that's where you nourish your negativity. And by jove is THAT easy to do when you stop being aware of the bigger picture and feel restrained by your very own hang-ups; the deluded perception of what you expect of yourself and what YOU think other people expect of you etc...I see it all the time. We are victims of self-obsession. We must conform, be one of the herd, keep up with the joneses. Sometimes I think that ignorance is indeed bliss as none of the above would even register anyway. There are zombies amongst us and they seem happy enough, but dull and asleep. It has to be said. I am one of those occasionally.
But you know? Should you come to an insurmountable wall and suddenly wake up from the stupor,
just build yourself a battering ram. I know I’ll be putting mine to good use
when I complete it. It’s going to take a little time but I’m getting there. I just watch foxy do her thing and not give a hoot about what the complicated humans are doing. She lives and that is all there is to it.
Thanks foxy!
